today, july 15th, was calvin's due date. i am more than happy that i have him here in my arms instead of my belly right now.
i don't know where to begin, except for saying that this little boy has truly changed our lives. it is not just the multiple mid-night feedings, the garbages full of diapers, or the extra loads of laundry...
it's more than falling asleep to baby squeaks or walking around with spit up on my pajamas till way past noon...
it has more to do with the amazing spirit this little one has brought with him. he truly is a piece of heaven. a gift from God.
i never knew i could love somebody this much.
i feel like i have found my true purpose in life - to love and care for this little guy.
i love being a mother.
i love how calvin knows me, and is soothed by my voice.
i love my sweet husband.
he is so good with calvin, and so kind to me.
i am so grateful that we can be an eternal family.
...
now the story:
on friday july 1st, we headed up to
escala in park city to spend the weekend with josh's family. at this point, nothing had changed since my last midwife's appointment where we had the discussion about going past my due date. i had decided to not worry about it and enjoy the trip - spending time with family, and swimming in the pool.
saturday july 2nd - spent the day at a little league baseball game, swimming - well more like floating in the pool, and walking around the outlets. we had a yummy mexican dinner. no contractions. no baby.
sunday july 3rd - we slept in, and around lunch time went on a drive and found a little trail that led down to the river. we got out and walked around. i started having contractions, but mostly when we were walking lots, or going up hills. around dinner time, the contractions started becoming more noticeable. they weren't super strong, or painful, but mostly uncomfortable in my back. they seemed to tame down when i would sit. we were sitting and eating dinner when j's sister asked if i had been having any contractions. i told her yes, actually i have had three since we sat down. we decided to start timing them. they weren't regular at all. to try and progress things, j and i went out walking. we took a few belly pictures, hoping they would be the last.walking definitely sped up the contractions.
at 9:30, i decided to call the midwives. i was so excited when my favorite one answered and said she was on call for the weekend. she told me to go to bed, and try and get as much rest as i could. if i was really in labor, i'd progress to the point of not being able to sleep through the contractions - at that point i should head back to orem. she told me to not worry about timing them, but to just try and sleep as much as i could. j and i packed up our stuff just in case. we watched the fireworks off of the balcony and went to bed.
note: this day was fast sunday. j's thoughtful parents had fasted that day, that the baby would come before he got too big. j's mom was worried that if he got any bigger, my small body wouldn't be able to handle it...
monday july 4th, 2011: i woke up at 1:30 and needed to use the restroom. when i returned to bed, i could not get back to sleep. the room we were staying in was really hot, i hated the pillows, and really just wanted to be in my own bed. i was still having contractions, but they didn't hurt too bad. because i couldn't get comfortable i decided to time a few of the contractions. they varied from 4 minutes apart to 21. i tried to go back to sleep, but ended up tossing and turning. at 3:30, i woke josh up and asked him to take me home. i just wanted to sleep in our bed. he was quick to get up and we headed home.
at this point, i really didn't think i was in labor, labor... possibly early labor, but not the kind that would make the baby come on the fourth of july. (since, we found out we were pregnant, i said he can come any day in july but the 4th or the 24th. i didn't want him to have to share his birthday with a holiday... even though the 4th of july is my favorite holiday)
the drive home was perfect. j and i were a little giddy thinking about having the baby. j was driving extra carefully, as i timed my contractions on his phone. the drive took a little over an hour and the whole way down my contractions were 4 minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds or longer. also, i definitely said that the contractions weren't bad, and that 'i could totally handle this'... haha.
pulling into the neighborhood around 4:50 am, i told josh that we will go back to bed and if the contractions don't stop we will go into the hospital around 7 to allow the nurses to get through shift change. well, a few seconds after i got out of the car, i felt a little gush. i knew immediately that my water had broken a little bit. i also knew, that this meant i needed to go in sooner than later.
we changed our clothes and repacked our bags, j shaved his face, i grabbed the diaper bag, and we headed over to the hospital. they brought us to a room (112) and i changed into a gown. the nurse hooked me up to the monitors and confirmed that my water bag was leaking - this meant i was being admitted, and had 24 hours to deliver the baby. i was settled into my bed at 5:50 am (right at shift change), iv went in, and they checked me. i was only 1 cm but 100% effaced. this baby was going to be born on the fourth of july, whether i liked it or not...
while the nurses were doing report, my contractions were getting stronger, but were still tolerable. the new nurses came in to introduce themselves (one was orienting, so there were 2) and mentioned that i was the only patient laboring at the moment, so if i wanted an epidural, i needed to give them an hour notice to get the anesthesiologist out of bed, and to the hospital. i told them that i was okay, and would let them know. within minutes of them leaving, at the peak of a contraction, my water really broke. it was like someone dumped a bucket of water in my lap. at first it relieved a lot of the pressure, but then my contractions got really bad. they were every two minutes, lasting sixty seconds long.
at this point, i was doing all i could to relax, but i couldn't handle the pain. i remember saying things like, 'i am never doing this again', and 'i can't do this'. needless to say, i had them call the anesthesiologist. i wanted that epidural. i remember thinking, 'why did i wait? he won't get here for an hour! that's 30 more contractions!' yikes, i was not prepared for the pain. josh was really sweet and comforting, through the whole thing...
not too much later, the nurses were in prepping me for the epidural. filling me up with fluids, changing my linens. they said he was almost there and would be here any minute! going into labor the two things i was most afraid of were the epidural and the pushing. i had seen way too many epidurals placed and heard way too many stories of them not working. i started getting really nervous and got the shakes way bad. i could not stop my legs from quivering. the nurse said that most moms don't get the shakes until they were in transition, so she checked me around seven and i was at a 2.
ben, the anesthesiologist, came to do my epidural. i sat on the edge of the bed and leaned on josh. it was not easy trying to squish myself over my belly, and hold perfectly still through contractions. he tried to do the epidural, but could not find the right spot. i kept feeling shocks down one side or the other and he told me to tell him which side i felt it on. 'right!' 'ow, ow, left!' haha i can laugh now, but it was not fun in the moment. again, josh was a rock star. he was watching the procedure as he held me. he has said many times since, that he would never let anyone do that to him! ben, aborted that first try and came around and showed me the position he wanted me in. again, bending over the belly = no bueno. but, he got it really quickly that time.
unfortunately, i started going into shock, and my blood pressure was dropping below 70/40.. the room was spinning, and i felt like i was going to vomit. they threw some oxygen on me, started another fluid bolus, and josh held me up while ben finished taping up the epidural line. they laid me down and put my head down but my pressure was getting worse. then ben shot some ephedrine in my iv.. and i remember that burning bad. it worked though, and my blood pressure stabilized.
around 7:30, i was as happy as can be. the epidural was feeling great. i was comfortable enough to rest a little. i chewed on ice chips, and visited with josh and my mom. my midwife was on her way, and had asked the nurses to start me on pitocin to augment my labor a little bit. (with the 24 hour deadline, and my mom's history of never progressing and having to have 4 c-sections, made everyone a little nervous. they wanted to get my labor going.)
baby c did not like the pitocin and his heart rate kept dropping, so they decided to stop it. my midwife, jennie, got there just before 8:00 and checked me. i was 3 cm now...we rested and at 10 i was only 4 cm. they put in an intrauterine pressure catheter, to better monitor the strength of my contractions. it showed that i was having contractions but they weren't extremely strong. jennie wanted to try pitocin again but on the lowest setting. again, cal's heart rate dropped and the pitocin was stopped, but luckily my contractions started getting stronger on their own.
11:00 - they decided to not check me because of the slow progression.
12:00 - jennie checked me and started to laugh. she said i was at a ten, and ready to push. we thought she was joking, but she wasn't. she left to change her clothes and they prepped the room for the delivery!
12:15 - started pushing. we had a scary moment when calvin dropped farther into the birth canal - his heart rate disappeared. they were moving the monitor all over my belly but couldn't find it. the nurse rushed off to get a probe that goes onto the baby's head for better monitoring. they got it hooked up, and still no heart rate. i was trying not to panic, but focus on taking deep breathes, and started praying like crazy... the nurse left again to get a different cord, and jennie tried the external monitor again, and finally found his little beating heart. the nurse returned and hooked up the new cord and it too showed a good, strong heart beat. whew!
well i pushed and pushed, and pushed. after an hour i was exhausted, and there was only a tiny part of his head showing. they brought in a mirror so i could see what was going on... jennie thought it would be motivation for me to push harder, but really it sort of discouraged me, when i saw how little movement i had after so long.. everyone did a great job at encouraging me, and helping me relax. in between pushes, i laid on my side and tried to rest..
i pushed and pushed for another hour.. and there was still little movement. i was so drained by this time, i don't remember much, but my mom said i was getting frustrated and kept saying, just come out all ready! i do remember feeling really loopy and saying all sorts of stuff.. my nurse and the midwife took turns leaving to eat lunch.. and i just kept pushing. every two minutes for a minute.
finally around 2:30, he started coming out... and i started to tear, so jennie gave me a small episiotomy, and with the next push, out he came.. it wasn't like other births i've seen where the head comes out and chills there for a second while they suction his nose, and mouth, and then his body comes with the next push... calvin's little body followed right after his head.. and i ended up tearing past the episiotomy, to a third degree partial tear. ouch. when jennie told me about my tear, i started hitting my epidural button like crazy.
anyways, once he came out, they put him straight on my belly. i grabbed him and started rubbing him to get him to cry. it felt like it took forever for him to cry, but once he figured it out, he was a good little screamer. josh cut his cord and they took calvin over to the warming table. at one minute, he got an 8 on his
APGAR, and he got a 9 on his five minute.
josh stayed right by calvin's side, while they weighed him, and did all the assessments. he weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and was 20 inches long.
while all this was going on, i was getting stitched up.. then, it was my turn to hold him. i was barely able to hold him, i was so weak and shaky.
it was pretty surreal that he was finally here. it felt like just yesterday, we were watching him dance around at the first ultra sound... josh and i made this little guy. i had been carrying him around with me for nine months. it truly is a miraculous thing, and such an undeniable proof that there is a God in heaven, and that the plan of salvation is real.
calvin was very alert and content.. tough guy had been through a lot and he had a cone-head and swollen face to show for it, but no one cared. he was perfect. and we were instantly in love.
he loved his bath, and cleaned up real nice.. both mom and baby slept well that evening....
