perfection

last night josh and i went on a date with his family to see the christmas carol at hale center theater.

my momma was a gem, and came down to watch cal for us. it was a wonderful evening filled with malawi's pizza, great company, cuddles with my man, and a play that always gives me goosebumps.

this was one of the first dates that i was able to completely relax, and enjoy my time without worrying about my baby boy at home. mix chicken nuggets, lady and the tramp, basketballs, and grandma.. cal is in heaven, and we get to really enjoy ourselves.

when we got home, we found ourselves in the nursery staring at our sleeping angel. all of the sudden he is in our arms as we love on him and hold him close. i stay and rock him a little longer and try to make him smile in his sleep.

there have been way too many sad things happening lately, that really puts life into perspective. my sweet kindergarten teaching mother - the way she gives of herself freely, and expects nothing in return. it's true that you can't understand the love a parent has for you until you have your own kids...

i'll never remember the late nights or early morning she spent up with me, or the way she held me and rocked me and loved on me.. hoping i wouldn't grow up.. i'm sure she thought about me constantly when she left me with a babysitter - making sure my pjs were laid out next to my goodnight story and favorite stuffed animals in hopes i would drift off to sleep easily. i guarantee she got teary eyed as she listened to horror stories on the news and thought about her babies.

i often think about her when i'm doing my daily mommy duties. i try to think of ways to thank her or give back to her, and then i think about cal and how all i really want in return is for him to be healthy and happy and a part of my life forever. maybe that's what she wants from me.

so as i sit here and write this, i have my napping son in my arms, and another one hiccuping inside of me. i am so blessed, and grateful for my testimony and knowledge that i can be with my sweet family forever, because of a loving Heavenly Father and His atoning son.

Nails and spears shall pierce Him through

The cross He bore for me, for you

So hail, hail the Word made flesh

The babe, the Son of Mary

This, this is Christ the King

Whom shepherds guard and angels sing

Haste, haste to bring Him laud

The babe, the Son of Mary

thankful thursday no. 2

[thursday, november 8]

my education in nursing:

there were many many times throughout my nursing school that i questioned if it was worth it.

there were also many times that i felt so lucky and privileged to be trained in the Healer's art.

since graduation, i have only officially worked a few days as a registered nurse, but i use the skills and knowledge i learned in school almost everyday.

i am so grateful for my knowledge of our amazing bodies, and how to heal them..

and for my knowledge of how to find the answers to things i don't know.

i feel confident and secure that i will be able to handle myself in whatever health / first aid problems we will have in our home.

and i look forward to when i can return to work as a nurse (hopefully a nicu one)..

and to going back to school one day for further education.

[friday, november 9]

my sweet momma:

today i got to work with my friend megan at the new j. crew.

calvie spent the afternoon at my mom's house.

she used her day off of work to help me out, and she was happy to do so.

calvin was in heaven playing with buddy, eating mac' n cheese, and cuddling with grandma.

my mom even had a yummy dinner ready for me to take home when i got off.

this is just one of the many, many things mom does selflessly for me.

i love our chats on the phone.. and when we get together.

i am so grateful for her service and support - 

for all the words of encouragement and wisdom.

i admire her unwavering faith, and her ability to see a need and jump in and fix it.

i just love my momma.

[saturday, november 10]

our neighborhood and friends in the ward:

today we went to a fun first birthday party for a boy in our ward.

when we moved into the ward, i was weeks away from delivering cal.

i quickly found out that i was one of 35+ women expecting babies or had recently had a baby.

since then our ward has split, but there are still lots and lots of kids c's age, and some really great couples.

i am grateful for our decision to move here, and the friends that we are making in the ward.

it has been really fun getting to know our neighbors, and feeling at home in our ward.

[sunday, november 11]

my siblings!:

today everyone went to josh and sharsti's for dinner.

shar made the yummiest mexican food and he were able to hang out and write chirstmas letters to elder scott.

it is always fun to be together.

i am grateful for the friendships that i have with each one of my siblings- sharsti included.

we all get along so well, and i am grateful when we get together to hang out.

[monday, november 12]

 fhe:

tonight for fhe, we opened up my nursery manual and had a short lesson with calvin about the temple, and about familes.

we sang i love to see the temple,

looked at pictures of temples,

and pictures of our family and extended family.

calvin was involved and his favorite part was pointing out each family member in the photos.

we talked about Jesus, and cal looked up and pointed to the picture of Him and said Jejus.

we have been doing family nights with cal for about a month, and it is the best.

i know he isn't grasping all that we teach, but hopefully he feels the Spirit.

i am grateful for the guidance given to us about families and how to strengthen them.

i am grateful for the privilege and responsibility that josh and i have as cal's earthly parents to teach him and remind him about truth and testimony.

 [tuesday, november 13]

 

health:

today, baby c was not feeling very good.

he was a sneezy, snotty, irritable, rashy mess all day.

we spent lots of time cuddling and watching elmo.

when it came time to make dinner, this lil guy refused to let me put him down..

and he needed his pillow pet and owl there too.

 somehow, i was able to keep him happy, and have dinner ready before josh got home from work.

being five months pregnant, i don't always feel 100%, especially when it comes to bending down and picking him up or carrying him everywhere...

but, somehow i always have the strength and so far it hasn't been a big deal.

i am grateful for the health, strength, and protection i have had so far, and pray that i will always feel well enough to care for both of my sweet babies.

[wednesday, november 14]

 the ability to create:

today sarah and i got together to do a christmas nativity craft,

(similar to the thanksgiving one we did last month).

it is so fun to be creative and to have people to be creative with.

i am grateful for the ability to create and this mormon message sums it up really well:

thankful thursday no. 1

i love the month of gratitude tradition, and because i don't have time to blog everyday, i am going to only post it weekly.

[thursday, november 1]

my handsome husband who works hard to bring home the bacon:

today we got up early and went to j's work. 

we had to have our blood drawn for health insurance.

we got the earliest appointments because we had to go fasting.

after bp checks and a few vials of fresh blood, we headed to a bakery for some yummy asiago bagels with cream cheese.

though small, i love stuff like this.

when i get to spend quality time with my sweet man.

i am so lucky to have a man like him in my life.

one who takes his role as provider so seriously, and allows wants me to be at home with our babies.

he is a planner and a saver.

he has goals and a beautiful vision for our future - 

one that includes lots of babies,

our dream home,

family vacations,

fruit trees in the yard,

and so much more.

i thank God everyday for my mr.

and the job he has that provides for our family.

[friday, november 2]

my happy baby boy:

we had a busy day today.

we went straight from playgroup to pick up sarah for a craft day.

calvin fell asleep on the way to store #1. 

when he woke up in the store, he was so good, and hung out while we picked out paper.

he was so hungry, but let us make a quick stop at store #2.

after getting home and fed, he played on his own and was amazing while sarah and i made our turkey decorations.

he was running around and laughing and doing his own thing.

this little man has been such a good kiddo lately.

eating lots, playing lots, growing, and being his happy self.

we've spent time with the asay cousins recently, and he jumps right in, and loves his cousins - no more need to be next to mom.

he laughs more than cries, and often has to be pried out of his daddy's arms.

next time you see him, ask him to wink.. or how old he is - those are his latest tricks.

if you haven't noticed, j and i are crazy about this lil man,

and are so happy he is in our family.

he brings us more joy than we ever imagined.

so grateful for our baby, calvin joshua.

[saturday, november 3]

this beautiful world:
today was a perfect saturday.
pancakes from scratch for breakfast.
chores done.
playing outside,
 and a long nap for c.
a lovely drive through the cutest sugarhouse neighborhood
to visit a perfect newborn and his fun family.
pizza, hot wheels, and great conversation.

after watching so many be forced to go without, because of hurricane sandy,
i am grateful for the safety we have had here in utah.
in fact, it has been a beautiful fall - lots of sunshine, full moons, and short sleeves.

'i’m glad that i live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.'

[sunday, november 4]

 testimonies:
today, was fast and testimony meeting.
a day that i love.
c did pretty well during sacrament.. until the very end, and josh was wonderful to take him out while i listened and felt the spirit.
i was also able to go to relief society today.
i haven't been in months.
our sweet president gave a lesson on testimonies, and opened it up to sisters in the room.
i chased cal while i listened to my friends and neighbors share intimate sacred thoughts.
i reflected on my own testimony and the gratitude i have for it.

i've been really blessed to be born into a strong, active family.
i have also been blessed with the spiritual gift of faith.
with this faith, i have never really questioned the truthfulness of this gospel.
after i received the gift of the Holy Ghost, i remember feeling something so different,
i could not hold back tears.
i know now that that was the spirit.
to me the spirit feels like overwhelming peace and happiness.
like i am being wrapped up in the warmest, coziest blanket.
all i want to do is hold really still and enjoy it.

this spirit helps me discern the truth.
i have learned through the spirit that there is a God in heaven who loves me.
He loves me so much that He gave us His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins.
the atonement is real, and there is hope found within it that can allow for me to be with my family forever.

i am so grateful for the knowledge of truth that i have -
i know who i am.
i know where i came from, and what i can become.
i know there is life after death - eternal life.
i know that it is through the gospel, that i can find true happiness.

[monday, november 5]

 a baby daddy who loves his babies:
(this is different than the first one, right?)
 whenever c and i are home together and he hears a noise - he immediately screams dadaa! and runs around looking for him.
i am constantly reminding cal that his daddy is at work.
he cries almost every morning when josh leaves, and runs to j with open arms when he gets home in the evening.
josh came home for lunch today, and happily ate the burnt grilled cheese i made.
he was sad that cal was napping.

i remember seeing josh play with his neices and nephews while we were dating -
talk about a winner - seriously, what's sexier than seeing a man cradle a baby with the most gentle loving manner and a huge smile on his face?

anyways, i love and am grateful that josh is such a great daddy.

[tuesday, november 6]

  a living prophet who leads and guides:
election day is always exciting.
i love going out and voting, and am grateful for the freedom we have to do that in this country.
today c, j, and i headed to the local elementary school to cast our votes.
an interesting, anxious day followed,
with a night of heart pounding disappointment.

at the end of the night, i couldn't help but think of my sweet baby boys, and the awful world they get to grow up in.
i grew ill as i thought about it only getting worse too.
it wasn't just the fact that obama was re-elected.. it was the major polarity in our country.
the millions of people who take what is most sacred and want to destroy it..
gay marriage..
legal marijuana..
the God-inspired constitution.

i often find myself scared for my children.
my heart physically hurts thinking about the challenges they are going to face.
i want more than anything to protect them from the evils of this world, and often feel overwhelmed by that task.

until, i remember that i have the Lord on my side.. and that He can not fail.
i remember that i have a living prophet and apostles, who see these challenges and are here to help.
i remember that i have a worthy priesthood holder in our home who carries the power of God with him.
i remember the many promises given like this from elder packer:

"I bear witness of the power of the priesthood given to the Church to protect us and guide us. And because we have that, we have no fear of the future. Fear is the opposite of faith. We move forward, certain that the Lord will watch over us, particularly in the family."

 i am grateful that there is a God in heaven who is more powerful and more important than the president of our country.

[wednesday, november 7]

a heritage of simplicity and righteousness:
today, my grandma would have turned 94.
i am sure she had a little party in heaven with other loved ones.

my grandma was a simple lady...
she didn't ask for much.
she didn't need much.
she enjoyed reading, playing the piano, and singing.
she loved her sweets, and was often found holding the newest great grandbaby.
she was short and feeble in her age,
but she had a testimony and a spirit that could knock down walls.

the ladies who worked at her assisted living told us that going into her room, was like walking into the temple.

i'm sure she wasn't a perfect mom raising her 7 children,
or that she always did her visiting teaching,
never missed a day of personal, couple, and family scripture study,
or never complained about her calling..
but all my memories of her are of a sweet, valiant, perfect woman.
she had her priorities in line.
her testimony shined through her eyes.
she was confident in her standing with God, and wasn't afraid to meet Him.

i am grateful to have an example like her in my life.
one that i can look at and say, 'if she can do it, so can i'.


to be continued next week...